


Hold Onto Me

by FiveFootTwo



Category: Virgin River (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28692732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveFootTwo/pseuds/FiveFootTwo
Summary: Jack and Mel's thoughts throughout seasons 1 and 2 as they fall in love with each other.
Relationships: Melinda Monroe/Jack Sheridan
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my new friend on Tumblr who gave me the idea for this story! I hope you enjoy!

Jack is attracted to Mel from the first moment he sees her walk into his bar. He notices her ring, but he cannot help himself from talking to her and sitting down beside her, wanting to know more about her. It is as if her appearance in his life sets off something in his heart and his head, like 'oh, there you are finally' and he cannot shake it. He wants to reach out and touch the soft loose curls in her hair and feel them slide between his fingers. He thinks he could gaze into her brilliant hazel eyes all day.

And so, he volunteers to fix up the cabin and gives her a tour of the town and finds a hundred small ways that he can spend more time with her. The more he learns about her, the more he likes her. He knows that how he feels about her extends beyond like, but he does not have a word for it at first. He feels guilty, being with Charmaine when his thoughts are clearly on someone else, but he squeezes his eyes tightly, pretending he is with Mel instead. He tries to tell Charmaine, but the words get caught in his throat. Mel is married, he reminds himself.

And still, as he walks around Lily's farm with her and she talks about her dreams, it dawns on him. She is his dream. A dream that he never knew he wanted until this moment, to be with her, to have a home and a family with her, and suddenly he feels like he cannot breathe.

"Are you coming?" she asks, snapping him out of his reverie, and he falls into step beside her. Her hands are swinging at her sides as she walks, and he longs to take her hand in his.

She keeps mentioning leaving Virgin River for good, and the thought of that fills him with fear. He admits this to her, in so many words, that he would miss her if she left, earning him a smile. Charmaine's presence clearly rattles Mel, and he does not know what to make of this. Is she jealous? Is this spark that he always feels when he is around her mutual? Could she feel the same way about him?

When his back begins to spasm after lifting the mattress, he tries to apply the muscle relaxing cream to it himself. Eventually, he concedes and allows Mel to do it, the touch of her hand on his skin sending shockwaves through his body. When she asks about his scars he responds only with "Iraq," unable to express any of the emotions he is currently feeling.

Jack knows instinctively that there is something she is not telling him, herself. Something big. He can see it in her eyes when she stares off into space, deep in thought. He understands that kind of pain, feeling it himself after the war. He does not push her, trying to give her the space she needs while also trying to get to know her. A few times he catches her staring at him, a smile on her face, and his heart surges with hope.

When Jimmy forces them to go to the pot camp, waving a gun in their faces, Jack realizes he will die before he lets anything happen to Mel, the desire to protect her outweighing any other instinct. She snuggles close to him in the cold of the night under their shared blanket, falling asleep with her head resting on his shoulder, and he holds himself completely still, resisting the urge to pull her closer.

She invites him into her room, and he cannot help but feel proud that he makes her feel safe. He takes the chair in the corner, watching her as her features relax into sleep for the second night in a row. He closes his eyes, imagining himself slipping into bed beside her, curling his body around hers as he falls into a fitful sleep.

At the Moonlight Mingle, he notices her presence immediately, as if drawn to her like a magnet. He is with Charmaine, even though his thoughts are only on the pretty nurse who has stolen his heart. And when he sees her looking forlorn and staring off into space once more, he finds himself walking toward her, needing to know what she is thinking. When they walk over to the dance floor, she steps impossibly close to him, and he wraps his arm around her, holding her against him. She leans into him, her cheek against his, and he feels that familiar electricity he always feels when she touches him. He closes his eyes, reveling in the sensation of having her this close. And it is at that moment that he has a word for this emotion, love. He surprises himself by punching Brady, part defending Mel's honor, and part defending his own.

When he sees Mel fall apart at the hospital, his heart breaks for her. He wants nothing more than to take away her pain and care for her. Instead, he takes her to play pinball and is wowed yet again by her. And when she stares at him, smiling, he hopes that maybe, just maybe, she might feel something for him, too.

There is something about seeing Mel in his clothes that stirs something deep within him, a longing that he cannot extinguish. He now knows that she is a widow, the pieces of the mystery surrounding her beginning to fall into place. He finds himself always shoving his hands deep into his pockets whenever he is around her, to stop himself from tucking a wayward strand of her hair behind her ear or tracing the outline of her jaw with his fingertips. Her face lights up when she sees the cabin, and he delights in her happiness. When she kisses him, it takes him completely by surprise. He holds himself back at first, their lips touching once, twice, before he responds. His body instantly floods with desire for her, but he is the one to pull back first, not wanting to push her by moving too quickly. He is a gentleman first and foremost, his mother teaching him the importance of respecting women from a very young age. More than anything, he wants Mel to feel cherished and safe.

He spends another restless night imagining a thousand different scenarios, slowly undressing her from his clothes the top of the list. He imagines walking her backward toward the bed, their lips moving in tandem as he presses her into the mattress. He wakes up in a cold sweat, dreams of her writhing beneath him and screaming his name permanently etched in his memory.

"Wow," he says, momentarily rendered speechless when he sees her in her green dress, ready to go on a date with him. He mentally reminds himself to be a gentleman, to keep his feelings for her in check. And while they eat, he thinks about how perfect she is for him, in every way. No other woman he has met has everything he has ever wanted before. He enjoys talking to her, just being near her. He wants to open up to her in a way he never has previously. She is smart, beautiful, sexy, witty, caring, and honest, his list of positive adjectives for her limitless. He holds her hand across the table and feels it again, the electricity surging between them, and his heart begins pounding. She kisses him goodnight, and he holds himself perfectly still. He is afraid to give in completely to his feelings, not entirely trusting himself to hold back, and so he allows her to take the lead. When she deepens the kiss, he holds her face in his hands and pulls away, knowing he wants more with her, and knowing that she is not ready.

"You're killing me," he tells her jokingly, even though he is part serious. But he respects her too much to push her. Silently, he hopes that she invites him inside.

When Jack finds out that Charmaine is pregnant, his life shatters. Everything that he hopes will happen with Mel seems out of reach, and he is heartbroken. He is terrified of losing Mel, and whatever relationship they have started together, and so he does not tell her at first. She is too important to him to lose. When she finds out through Hope, he feels Mel's walls go back up immediately. He wants nothing more than to pull her into his arms and comfort her, but he feels her retreating. Finally, he admits to her how he feels, and she begs him to stop. He can see in her eyes how difficult this is for her, and he pleads with her to give him a chance.

When Mel leaves without a word, he is heartbroken. His days and nights are empty without her, and he goes through the motions of living, barking at everyone around him and retreating within himself. His calls to her go unanswered, and he fears he may have lost her forever. The thought of living his life without her leaves him destitute, but these feelings shift to anger when he sees her reappear into his life without an explanation.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't care about me the same way I care about you, and I will leave you alone," he says to her, and she cannot. He takes her hand and feels that spark, stronger than ever now, and he knows they belong together.

He does not know what leads him to walk in the direction of the clinic that night, only that he needs to clear his head. He sees her through the window, wanting to go to her but not knowing if he should. He hears a scream and instinctively knows it is her. Without thinking, he runs to her aid, and is stunned to find her held at knifepoint by a man, his eyes crazed and frantic. The man thrusts the knife toward Mel's perfect neck, and Jack's heart constricts. He is not going to lose her this way, so he acts quickly.

He situates a pillow behind her, their lips inches apart, their eyes locked on each other, her gaze darting between his eyes and his lips. She glances down, breaking the moment, and he excuses himself, unable to be close to her without being close to her. Mel bravely brushes off the incident, but it's Jack who can't sleep later that night, the 'what ifs' circulating through his brain. He decides right then and there that he will not rest until he finds out who did this to her, channeling his unrequited passion into this mission.

When she calls him harsh, something inside of him just snaps. Does she not realize what her leaving for L.A. did to him? Does she still not understand the depth of his feelings for her? He pushes past her, unable to look her in the eye. And later, when they argue, she admits that she is afraid to love him and lose him, and no amount of his trying convinces her otherwise.

"You belong with someone else," she tells him.

"Don't," he says, "I don't want someone else. I want you."

She screams, pounding against her steering wheel in frustration, falling apart yet again. He pulls her into his arms, comforting her, wanting to take away her pain. And once he feels her body begin to relax, he brings her back home to the cabin, telling her he will l take care of her car. As he hands her the keys to the cabin, her fingers lock with his and he turns around, trying to read her expression. He sees longing in her eyes, a silent plea to stay with her, and so he turns around, stepping back toward her. She brushes her nose with his, and he stays perfectly still until her lips meet his. He kisses her back, gently at first, until she opens her mouth against his and he is powerless to resist her. He presses himself against her, walking her through the door and into the cabin as clothes are shed, his pulse racing. His body hovers over hers, and only when she pauses, cupping his cheek with her hand, does he realize he is trembling. This goes so far beyond want, he needs her.

A thousand different emotions run through his head in the span of seconds as he stares into her eyes and realizes that for the first time in his life, he is not just having sex, he is making love. He takes a deep breath to steady himself before lowering his lips to hers once more. He dedicates himself to making her feel pleasure, to try and show her through his hands and lips how much he adores her, wants her, needs her. When she cries out his name in pleasure, he swears it is the most wonderful sound he's ever heard.

Jack wakes early in the morning to find Mel asleep. She must have gotten up sometime in the night to put on a shirt, and she is lying facing him on the bed. He studies her face, her flawless skin, her hair shining in the sunlight streaming through the window, and he knows it will never get better than this. All traces of doubt are erased as he looks at her, knowing fully that he is love with her and he will never want anyone else but her.

She asks him to be friends, and he agrees to try, but what he does not anticipate is how difficult it is for him. Now that he has been with her, tasted her, explored every inch of her, it is all he can think about. Whenever he is near her, he wants to hold her, touch her, kiss her. And yet, his feet are firmly planted in the friend zone.

He sees her in Hope's driveway later that morning and she smiles brightly at him. He cannot help but notice the added bounce in her step, and he hopes he put it there.

"Hey friend," he teases her amicably, and she flirts back with him. He shoves his hands in his pockets again, stopping himself from touching her hair, and he waves at her as she drives away. Later, he offers to drive her to Grace Valley for an errand, just wanting to be near her, and watches yet again as she leaves him behind, marveling at how fantastic she looks in jeans as she rounds the corner of the porch. He wants to haul her against his body and kiss her senseless, but instead he only smiles at her.

She finds him fishing the next morning, and despite his gruff exterior and that he intended to be here alone, he welcomes her presence. He stands behind her, helping her learn to cast a reel, and has the urge to press his lips to the curve of her neck, his chest against her back, and lift her up to carry her somewhere into the woods, fish be damned.

She smiles at him as she approaches him at the picnic, looking gorgeous in her floral print dress. He compliments her and she deflects, but smiles at him nevertheless, looking incredibly sexy as she bites her lower lip. He swears that gesture of hers alone might be his undoing. He sighs heavily as he watches her walk away, knowing that the cold showers he has been taking have done nothing to erase the memory of her skin against his, his name on her lips.

"Will you do something for me?" she asks.

"Anything," he promptly replies, and she takes his hand and pulls him toward the egg race. When they win, he hugs her tightly, loving seeing her so happy. And later, when he brings her the marbles, he tells her his mom would love her. And it is the truth.

Someday, he thinks, the sentiment echoing through his psyche.

When Jack meets Stacy, his heart sinks a little. This is a part of Mel's ironclad past where he has no place. He is genuinely supportive of her need to discuss giving up the ring, and he helps her despite secretly hoping she gives it away. He is desperate for any sign that she might want him too, that things are moving in the direction he hopes, and this is a setback. He sees her walking with Stacy while he plays football with his buddies, and he cannot help but smile at her.

"Oh, you like her," Mike teases him, and he denies it. Because it is so much more than like. He has not been able to think about anything except for her since she arrived in Virgin River. He longs to kiss her, to hold her, to be with her, but for now they are friends.

After spending time with the guys, he finds himself at her cabin again, the pull of his heart to hers overpowering every other impulse. She tells him more about Mark and her thoughts about giving up the ring, telling him he is a good friend. As he sits next to her, he imagines himself pulling her up by the hand, kissing her breathless, and carrying her into the cabin. He does not care that Stacy is still there, hell, she can watch. He just wants Mel so much it physically hurts. He stares at her longingly as she tells him what a good friend he is.

The anniversary of Mark's death is also something he does not want to think about. He is afraid that she might never love him the way that he loves her, or even the way that she used to love Mark. He knows she needs to continue to grieve and he respects her, but on the inside his heart is breaking.

She is the last person he wants to see when he prepares to kayak down the rapids. "I'm coming with you!" she stubbornly declares, and he scowls at her. She is right, even though he hates to admit it. He is a father now and he cannot afford to be so careless with his actions. He hopes that she is subtly reminding him that he is important to her too.

"You are going to have two children that you love more than anything," she tells him, and he thinks it would be impossible to love anyone more than he loves her in this moment. For the millionth time, he thinks about just leaning over and kissing her, but he knows he needs to wait for her to make a move.

She leans her head on his shoulder and they sit there together, just watching the river, not speaking. It amazes him how they do not even need to speak, and still he feels completely connected to her in every way. He clasps his hands in front of his knees, centering himself once more so that he does not act on his instincts.

Charmaine is difficult, rude, and disrespectful to Mel, and Mel handles it all with grace and professionalism. He marvels at her, unable to express his gratitude to the extent that he feels it, and so he brings her a latte, a small gesture by comparison. Finding her in a state of complete loss and devastation haunts him, and he holds her while she cries, gently stroking her back with his fingertips. Inside, he is beginning to put up walls of his own as he glances at her floral sheets, memories of that night with her flooding his senses.

He takes out his frustration on a set of shelves with a wrecking bar. She stitches him up, and he tells her he understands how she feels. This time he is the one walking away. "I care about you," she says as she asks him to have lunch the next day, his quest for justice with Calvin at the forefront of his mind. Mel does not seem to know why he needs to do this. That even if he cannot be with her, he needs to know that she is safe. The thought of her not being here is too painful, and he knows what she lost with Mark.

When he thinks Spencer is dead, the guilt consumes him. She finds him in the woods, admitting to him the truth about what happened with Mark, and the sinking feeling returns in the pit of his stomach, his gaze hardening as he looks at her.

"When I couldn't find you, I thought something happened to you. It felt like I couldn't breathe," she says.

"That's how I felt about you when you left for L.A.," he admits. "And the worst part was when you were gone, I realized that I don't want to live my life without you."

She runs after him, telling him all the things he is waited weeks to hear, and he kisses her with all the passion he feels for her, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. After, he takes her hand and they walk back to the cabin while he tells her about Spencer, and about his quest to take Calvin down. She listens to him patiently, holding his hand and allowing him to steal kisses now and then, but he holds himself back. He does not want to be with her again until he can be fully present.

"So, if I told you that I love you," he pauses, looking at her nervously.

"I love you too," she replies, smiling, and he hears her sigh in frustration when his phone chimes, interrupting their almost kiss.

When she tells him what she did to help him, he is in awe of her again. He has never had someone in his life like Mel. Someone who was willing to risk everything to make him happy. He kisses her because it is impossible not to. He makes love to her slowly, taking his time to kiss every inch of her skin until she breathes his name, a quiet plea. He never wants this to end, never wants to be apart from her again.

"How are you feeling?" he asks her, nervous that she will pull away.

"Happy and safe," she replies, smiling at him, and he kisses her, moving on top of her, his body immediately responding to hers. He cannot get enough of her, and he has never been so happy in his life.

When he is on the floor of the bar, bleeding, all he can think about is her. He does something he has only done a few times before. He pleads for his life to whoever might be listening. He needs to be here for Mel. No, not now, he silently begs.

He wakes up with bright lights in his eyes, blinking several times to adjust to his surroundings. Mel is curled up next to him in the narrow hospital bed, her arm draped over his chest, her body flush against his side. As he begins to stir, she opens her eyes, which upon noticing him, promptly fill with tears.

"Jack?" she asks tentatively, reaching her hand up to softly stroke his cheek. "I thought I lost you. I love you so much."

"I love you more," he replies, earning a big smile from her. She lightly presses her lips to his before pulling back, gently running her fingers through his hair.

It takes weeks, but Jack slowly heals and begins feeling more like himself. He touches Mel whenever he can, following his instincts finally within the limits his doctor explained to him before he left the hospital. He kisses her, threads his fingers through her hair, holds her at night, tells her how much he loves her at every opportunity. He wakes at night to find Mel running her hands down his chest, and he opens his eyes to look at her.

"Sorry," she tells him, "I couldn't not touch you. It's been too long."

"I know exactly how you feel," he says, pushing her onto her back until he is hovering over her. He kisses her passionately. "It will never be that long again. Ever," he says, pressing his lips to hers once more.


	2. Chapter 2

When Mel first meets Jack, she thinks he is handsome, kind, and charming. She notices how blue his eyes are and how they sparkle when he makes a joke or smiles at her. She enjoys talking with him, their banter flowing freely as if they are old friends instead of complete strangers. He carries her bags into the cabin without being asked, a gentleman first and foremost. And when she finds that he left her coffee and breakfast the next morning, she has a fleeting thought that maybe moving to Virgin River on a whim was not a terrible decision after all.

He offers a tour of Virgin River, although it is not what she expected. Instead, he arrives prepared, helping her into boots and leading her through the woods to a spot so beautiful it takes her breath away. She is used to the hustle and bustle of city life, and at first finds sitting there in the complete silence jarring, but he is there to talk to her, and she finds herself smiling, sad when it is time to leave him.

He is gentle with the baby, his choice to sing 'Proud Mary' warms her heart as she takes in how he cradles the baby protectively in his strong arms. He brings her two lattes later, again without being asked, somehow already anticipating her needs. Just the sight of him entering the clinic soothes her, his presence calming.

After a day of caring for the baby, she is exhausted. Going to a batting cage with Jack in the middle of the woods is something she never could have expected. She does not have much in the way of athletic ability, minus the fact that she is a runner, but she gives it her best. He steps close behind her, placing his hands on her hips, and she can feel his warmth behind her. It is the closest she has been to a man since Mark. She looks back at him and smiles, their eyes locking, and is surprised when she feels her stomach do a little flip. When they walk back to the bar, she opens up to him about her mother, and he just listens. He does not try to cut her off, or interject something about himself, or ask questions, or try and change the subject, he just listens.

When they find out that Lily is the mother, Jack does not judge her. Somehow, he is always there to help. He takes Mel to a spot by the river for a picnic lunch, building a small fire while they sit with Chloe.

"Is that what you think of me?" she questions. "Impressive?"

"Yeah," he bashfully admits, his cheeks tinted pink, and she cannot help but smile at him. There is something about Jack Sheridan that makes her warm inside, something she cannot explain. They walk together at Lily's farm, her finding herself opening up to him more about the dreams she had as a child. She feels safe in his presence, this man that she has only known for just a few days.

She mentions him to Joey, who promptly asks is he is good looking. "Yes, very," Mel replies immediately, earning a knowing laugh from her sister.

"If you were to leave, you'd be missed," he admits to her, and she knows then that he feels it too, this unspoken thing between them is not one sided.

When she meets Charmaine, she feels an unexpected flash of jealousy. She does not like that Jack did not tell her about his girlfriend. She feels betrayed somehow, because he had been spending so much time with her and never mentioned Charmaine before. The next day he insists that what he has with Charmaine is just casual, but Mel does not get that impression from the woman herself. Charmaine is unpolished and needy, and Mel has the fleeting thought that she is not good enough for Jack.

He strains his back, and she lifts his shirt to apply a muscle relaxing cream. It is then that she sees the scars on his skin, and she runs her fingers over them lightly as she applies the cream. "What happened here?" she asks.

"Iraq," he replies, a far off look in his eyes, and she realizes that what they have in common is trauma.

She invites Charmaine to dinner, partly out of politeness and partly out of curiosity. When Charmaine begins peppering her with personal questions, Mel is relieved to escape at Joey's call. She does not understand why this is bothering her so much. She has only just met Jack. She might not even stay in this town. Why does she care?

She confronts him again when they get a flat tire on the way to Myrtle Farms. "It doesn't matter, sometimes you can't separate your heart from your head," she tells him.

"I'm beginning to understand that," he says, looking her directly in the eyes. Her heart swoops in her chest, but she does not want to be in the middle of anything. She cannot be the one to cause someone else pain after everything that she has been through.

When she sees a truck approach them and stop, she looks to Jack for reassurance. The man is interested only in her, but Jack steps between them, threatening the man in response. He pulls a gun on Jack and her heart begins pounding in her chest. She will not let this happen, so she agrees to go with the lunatic, on the condition that Jack goes with her. Throughout the whole ordeal, Jack stays by her side, "I won't let anything happen to you," he tells her, and she knows it is true.

She falls asleep curled up against him, in the middle of everything, because he is her safe place. He teases her about snoring, able to make even the most stressful situations lighter somehow. And when they finally return home, she does not want him to leave. He agrees to sleep in the chair in her room and with him there, she easily falls asleep. Jack's night terrors are something to witness, and her heart breaks for him. He is the strongest person she knows, so to see him so vulnerable is difficult. She tries to talk to him about it, but he brushes it away.

At the Mingle, she notices him immediately, walking in with Charmaine while she is dancing with Ricky. He looks handsome tonight, especially. He always does, her brain reminds her, but she discards the thought, trying to focus on her sister instead. It does not escape her attention that Jack looks uncomfortable with Charmaine, shifting around nervously, his eyes on anything except his date.

When he takes her hand to dance, she feels it immediately, that spark she always feels whenever they touch. Instinctively, she steps in closer to him, her body against his as they sway to the music. It feels natural, right.

"It's too bad you don't see yourself the way the rest of the world does," he tells her, another compliment, and she smiles. She watches as he defends her honor to Brady, and even though she is embarrassed by all of it, she cannot help but appreciate the gesture.

She finds out about the rift between him and Charmaine the next day while they drive to check on Ricky's grandmother. Jack is always willing to help out a friend or neighbor without hesitation. She notices how Liddy lights up upon seeing Jack, and it warms her heart. Later, in the hospital, Mel is transported back to moments with Mark, and suddenly she cannot breathe, the grief hitting her like a ton of bricks. He tries to comfort her in the car, without really knowing what is bothering her. He offers up a distraction and she accepts it gratefully.

Pinball turns out to be just what she needs. She still has a knack for the game after all these years, and he praises her skills. She finds herself laughing again just being with him, and she smiles at him, her eyes sparkling.

"Ok, what?" he asks her, "You distracted me, you happy now?"

She brushes it off, smiling back at him, enjoying his teasing as they eat together. By the time he drops her off that night, she is feeling lighter than she has in months.

"You know I don't think I'd still be here if it wasn't for you," she tells him, and it is the truth. He fills her with an unexpected warmth, and as she twirls her wedding ring around her finger later that evening, she decides that it might be time to take it off, finally.

When Jack sees the ring on the bedside table when he stops by to return her gloves, his eyes reflect a glimmer of hope that has her opening up to him yet again. He does not say anything, only offers his concern for her before leaving that night. She does not give him an explanation and he does not ask for one.

She jars awake, the nightmare of Jack laid out on a stretcher instead of Mark fresh in her mind. She breathes deeply, trying to calm herself as she registers the cold temperature of the room. "I like him," she admits to Joey on the phone, but the mere idea of it frightens her. She did not come here to start anything. She came for an escape.

He offers her dry clothes and she looks around his simple bedroom, noting the books stacked by his bed. Jack is smart, even though he humbly admits not having attended college. She knows that a measure of one's intelligence has little to do with their schooling and more about their attitude towards learning. She puts on his soft flannel shirt and jeans, enjoying the feel of the fabric and his scent on her skin.

"I've never seen my clothes look so good," he flirts with her, and she smiles.

When she learns that he and Charmaine have broken up, she tells him she is sorry. She is, but only partly, the unspoken electricity stronger than ever as he tells her that it is for the best. He helps her treat Bert and then tells her he has a surprise for her. "Close your eyes," he tells her, and she complies. When she opens her eyes, she is stunned to see the cabin, looking brand new. She looks around the interior of her new home in utter disbelief. It is beautiful. She watches him smile as she appraises the cabin, and it dawns on her, he did this for her. She was a complete stranger and he spent hours of his own time just to make her feel safe and happy.

"I hope you'll stick around," he says, and she stares into his eyes. She sees the love in them, something she should have noticed earlier but was always too afraid to go looking for it. And so, she does the one thing she can, she kisses him.

When their lips touch, it sends shockwaves throughout her entire body. She has not kissed anyone since Mark, but the feeling of Jack's lips on hers is nothing short of magical.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asks softly, still putting her needs first, and she answers him with another kiss. He hesitates at first, returning her kiss before she pulls back, leaning her forehead against his. His eyes are closed as he breathes deeply for a moment before pulling her close, opening his mouth to hers. For the first time in a long while, her mind goes blank as she gives into the sensation of kissing him, her tongue exploring his. She inhales the scent of him as he threads his fingers into her hair. Eventually, she is the one who breaks the kiss, leaning her forehead against his again.

"Thank you," she whispers, the words floating heavily in the air. Because she does not just mean for the cabin, she means for everything this man has done for her since she came to Virgin River. He seems to understand as he pulls her into a hug, kissing the top of her head before releasing her.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" he asks. "We can go get your things from the Fitches. I'll help you load up your car."

She smiles at him, nodding once as he takes her hand and leads her to the door.

The next morning, she has to smile when she sees him at the bar. He quietly asks her to dinner, and her stomach does a little swoop. She tells him she is not sure that she is ready, but he insists. She finds it difficult to refuse him so she agrees, his answering smile filling her with warmth.

He is waiting for her on her porch when Doc drops her off, looking incredibly handsome, a shy smile on his face. She dresses carefully for their date, selecting a green dress that she knows brings out the color in her eyes, and curls her hair, leaving it loose over her shoulders. "Wow," he says when he sees her, momentarily flustered, and she bites her lip, silently thrilled that she can affect him this way. He helps her into her coat, and they go to his truck to drive to Eureka. The drive is filled with casual conversation as she fills him in on the events of the day, his genuine interest keeping their banter flowing easily. She feels comfortable with him, safe. She can talk to him about anything, and he matches her, in wit and humor. He looks at her as if he cannot take his eyes away, and again she feels her stomach filling with butterflies as he takes her hand, and they walk together along the pier.

He walks her to her door at the end of the evening, and for a moment she considers inviting him inside. She knows it is too early, that she is not ready for anything serious. She looks up into his eyes and sees the desire he feels for her reflected in them. His eyes are clear pools of blue and she knows if she let herself, she could drown in them. She leans up, kissing him gently before pulling away.

"I just need to take things slowly," she explains, and of course he is considerate and understanding in response. She smiles, her heart pounding as she kisses him again, this time more deeply. He opens his mouth to hers, and this time it is him who stops the kiss, cradling her face in his hands as he leans his forehead against hers, breathing hard.

"Now you're killing me," he tells her, and she knows he is only half joking. She knows he wants her. She can tell by the way he looks at her. And so, she invites him for pancakes the next morning, the tension between them heavy in the air.

Later, she thinks of him while she is in bed that night and smiles. For the first time in a long time, she feels happy, like maybe this is the start of something new, something good.

She is disappointed when he is not able to have breakfast with her. Later that day, when Hope tells her about Charmaine, she is heartbroken. She knows it is not just that Jack did not tell her, but because she cannot have children herself. She does not belong here, she realizes, and tells Jack that in anger before storming out of the bar.

He shows up at the cabin that night, and she does not want to talk to him. She tells him about the baby she lost, and that this is too much for her.

"I am just as scared as you are, ok," he insists, walking towards her, "I have never felt this for anybody in my life. I didn't even know I could. And then you walk in…and from that first moment that I saw you I knew."

"Stop, please Jack," she pleads.

"I can't stop how I feel, ok," he replies. "I'm falling in love with you," he whispers, telling her that he wants to be a part of her future. She studies the sincerity in his expression and her heart breaks all over again. He tells her that everything is going to be ok, and she knows he believes it even if she cannot. He leaves, and she begins packing. She is going home, away from this, away from him. This is too much for her to handle.

She leaves without a word, getting into her car and driving through the night, arriving at Joey's early the next morning. Her sister pulls her into a hug as she cries, this time about Jack. He calls her several times, leaving a voicemail more than once, but she cannot bear to hear the sound of his voice.

The first few days she is in L.A. she busies herself with her nieces and nephews and Joey, and she tries not to think about Jack. He is all she can think about, it seems. She knows she has feelings for him. If she did not this would not be so hard. She goes to Mark's grave, needing to feel close to him. She feels guilty about caring for Jack, for wanting him. She does not believe she is worthy of love, or able to feel anything again, and she knows that is why she ran. She needs to return to Virgin River, the thought of never seeing Jack again weighing heavily on her.

He reacts with hurt and anger when he first sees her, and she knows it is deserved. In her cabin she gives him an explanation, one that he does not accept.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that you don't care about me the same way that I care about you, and I will leave you alone," he says.

"I can't," she admits, I would not be here if I could, she thinks, but does not say.

Mel knows she is in real danger the moment she turns around and sees the man in Doc's kitchen, his eyes crazed and frantic. He grabs a knife and lunges at her, and she screams. She hears Jack's voice outside calling her name, and she yells back. He bursts in through the front door, and immediately she knows that he will protect her. He chases off the intruder and helps her get settled back at home. He adjusts a pillow behind her and their eyes lock, hers darting between his eyes and his lips. Every instinct in her body tells her to kiss him, but her head stops her. You cannot give him a family, she reminds herself as she looks away, and he leaves.

They argue in Hope's driveway, and he is unable to look at her. She decides to confront him, unwilling to deal with the tension between them a moment longer. "I think I like feeling like this," she admits to Jack. She is punishing herself because of Mark and the baby and she knows it. "Letting myself love you means that I risk losing one more person I can't live without, and I can't!" she tells him. She knows she would not survive losing Jack.

"Jack, you belong with someone else," she says.

"Don't," he insists, "I don't want someone else. I want you." His conviction breaks her heart. I do not have anything left to give him, she reminds herself as she storms out of the bar. Her car fails to start, and she screams in frustration, pounding the steering wheel. He appears outside her window, helping her out of the car and into his arms. He holds her while she cries, and when her tears have dried up, he drives her home, telling her he will take care of the car for her the next morning, his concern only for her as he hands her the keys.

She grips onto his fingers and does not let go, trying to convey how she is feeling with just a look. He turns to face her, stepping back closer to her, his eyes studying her expression carefully. Suddenly, she wants him so much she can barely breathe. She brushes her nose lightly against his, stepping back to study his expression, and when she sees nothing but love and desire in those gorgeous blue eyes of his, she presses her lips to his. He hesitates at first, letting her take the lead, but when she opens her mouth to his she feels him begin to respond. He pulls her close, pushing her backwards into the cabin, kissing her deeply.

She removes her jacket, her fingers moving to the buttons of his shirt, frantic in her movements. He pulls her sweater up over her head, pausing to look into her eyes before he kisses her again. She grips his shoulders as they fall onto the bed together, and she feels him trembling with desire for her. She steadies him, cradling his face in her hands and trying to convey to him what she cannot say with words. I need you. And with that, he makes her body sing.

She stares at him in the moonlight as he sleeps, unable to settle herself after a night of such passion. She swears she has never felt this way before, and after her pleasure there is guilt. Jack deserves more than this, she knows. She pulls on a t-shirt and shorts and curls up next to him to sleep.

"Hey," he says, waking her, and she smiles when she opens her eyes and sees him. He kisses her sweetly, and again she feels a wave of guilt. She apologizes to him, and he admits his feelings for her, but something is still holding her back. He agrees to be friends, but the hurt in his eyes is evident.

There is an extra bounce in her step that morning, as it had been a long time since she had been with a man, and Jack was exceptional last night. Every time she thinks of the way he held her, kissed her, and touched her, she cannot help but smile. She sees him in the driveway and he flirts with her. She has no choice but to smile back at him. She declines his invitation to join her on the drive to the hospital. She does not trust herself to be alone with him, unsure of what might happen.

"Unfortunately, it was phenomenal," she tells Joey when asked how it was on the drive. "Maybe he is your second chance," her sister reminds her, and the rational part of Mel's brain knows she is right.

Twins. They are having twins. Mel's heart breaks for what seems like the millionth time. She looks at Jack, and can tell he is just as freaked out as she is, the situation going from bad to worse. She does not see him for the next few days, and asks Ricky where she might find him. She tracks him down by the river, and he opens up to her about his insecurities. She reminds him that he is not alone, and he shows her how to fish. They have a great time by the river, just talking, laughing, and enjoying each other's company.

At the picnic the next day, everyone is staring at her. She learns that Jack told Charmaine about their night together, and he apologizes. She really is not mad at him, she understands that his situation is difficult, but she hates that people think she is capable of something like that.

"I fully support Jack becoming a father," she tells Charmaine, sincerely. "You know no matter what happens I'm going to be by Jack's side because I only want what's best for him. Can you honestly say the same?" She walks out of Hope's house, trying to control her temper. She knows she is better for Jack than Charmaine. She hates Charmaine's constant manipulation of Jack, of her. She tells Jack this later, in so many words. He reminds her that she cannot control Charmaine, only control how she reacts to her, something his mother says to him.

"She'd love you," Jack says of his mother, and Mel cannot help but smile. He is such a good man, and it is obvious that he is struggling. Stacy's appearance is a surprise, and Mel is annoyed to find out the real reason behind her visit. True to form, Jack listens to her and supports her as she decides to keep the engagement ring and Stacy departs. "You're a really good friend, you know that?" she tells him, and he smiles in return, but it does not quite reach his eyes.

She focuses on honoring Mark for the anniversary of his death. Jack's marine friends are in town, and she can see the effect this has on Jack. He barely looks at her when he comes to borrow the wet vac from Doc. When she sees him during her run in his truck, again he has difficulty looking her in the eye. She knows something is troubling him, so when she gets the call from Preacher, she rushes to find Jack.

"I'm going with you," she insists, and his temper flares. She talks him out of doing something dangerous and stupid, and he joins her on the rocks overlooking the rapids. She understands how he feels, and it scares her. He is too important to lose. She leans her head on his shoulder, grateful that he is safe, and he is here with her.

The next day she helps Jack and Charmaine with their birth plan. Charmaine is difficult and confrontational, but Mel diffuses the situation by being honest with Charmaine about her past. Later, when Jack thanks her for her help, she admits that he is one of the reasons she is still standing, and it is the truth. She would not have stayed in Virgin River if it were not for him, and she does not know where she would be today if it were not for this little town. Her spirits are high until she finds the envelope with Mark's name in the mail, and something within her just breaks. Once she starts crying, she finds it difficult to stop. This is how Jack finds her, and as she cries into his arms she wonders if things will ever be ok again.

She apologizes to him at the clinic as she stitches him up. "You still think I don't understand," he says.

"Understand what?" she questions.

"There's no timeline for getting over the loss of someone you love," he replies, looking her directly in the eyes, and she is unable to reply.

He is colder to her somehow, distant, and it worries her. She busies herself by treating her patients, and she and Jack realize that Calvin was poisoning his customers. She looks up at Jack, knowing that he will not let this go without a fight. He wakes her early in the morning, asking her to meet him at the clinic. She is relieved when he agrees to meet her for lunch, and she is hoping that she can help him work through whatever is troubling him. But she also knows on some level that she is part of the problem.

When he does not show up for lunch or answer his phone, she is genuinely worried. So much so that she seeks out Charmaine's help. The thought of something happening to Jack takes her breath away. I can't lose him, she thinks. When Preacher calls and tells her that Jack is ok, her relief turns to anger and fear. She knows he is pulling away from her.

She finds him in the woods, and he is clearly distraught. In all the time that she has known Jack he has never forgotten about her, and the thought frightens her.

"When I couldn't find you, I thought something happened to you. It felt like I couldn't breathe," she says.

"That's how I felt about you when you left for L.A.," he admits. "And the worst part was when you were gone, I realized that I don't want to live my life without you."

It is in that moment that she knows that if she does not do something right now, she is going to lose him. She runs after him, "Wait," she says. He turns around to face her, and she can see the hurt in his eyes, hurt that she put there.

"I need you to know how I f—" she trails off, trying to get up the nerve to tell him, finally.

"I love you," she says. "I love you," she repeats, pausing for a beat before continuing. "I love that you can make me laugh, even when I don't want to. I love that you listen more than you talk. I love that you were just willing to be my friend. I love that you built me a home. I love waking up next to you. You know, I feel safe, even when you're not there. I'm so sorry that I pushed you away. I just, I thought that by protecting my heart, I couldn't get hurt. But the thought of not having you in my life is so painful, I can't…" she trails off, cut off by his lips pressing against hers. They kiss passionately, and she pulls him as close as possible. He breaks the kiss, pulling her into a hug, his fingers threading through her hair. "I love you too," he whispers, holding her.

They walk back to the cabin together, just talking, and she can tell that he is broken over the events that happened with Spencer. She holds his hand and sits close to him on the couch as he talks, eventually relenting to his exhaustion as he falls asleep on her shoulder. She holds him close and lets him sleep, staring off into space as she tries to figure out how to help him. When he wakes, she can tell he still is not himself.

"So, if I told you that I love you," he pauses, looking at her nervously.

"I love you too," she replies, smiling. Their foreheads touch as he goes in for a kiss when his cell phone rings, and she sighs at the interruption. She wants to be close to him again, to feel what she felt with him that first night, and she knows that will not happen until this situation is resolved.

She pleads with him to give it a day. She is afraid that he will react and get hurt, and he agrees, thankfully. She spends the day tracking down Brady and getting the truth, and even though she knows it is dangerous, she knows that Jack would do, and has done, the same for her without hesitation.

She shows him the video of Spencer, and he smiles in disbelief. "And why did you go to Brady?" he questions.

"You were in pain," she says by way of explanation. After everything he has done for her, it is the least she could do. She wraps her arms around his neck, and he kisses her. This kiss is unlike all the others before it. This time, they move as one. They make love by the fire, and she keeps her eyes open this time, watching him. He is amazing, every nerve ending on fire as he touches her and moves inside of her. She loves him in a way that is almost soul-crushing in its intensity, and although that scares her, she feels safe with him.

"How are you feeling?" he asks her as he wraps a quilt around them.

"Happy and safe," she replies, smiling at him, and he kisses her, moving on top of her, his body immediately responding to hers. She loves how much he wants her, and she grins up at him. "Again?" she teases him, laughing. She loves the sounds he makes in his throat when he kisses her. She loves the passion in his eyes when he looks at her. She loves everything about him. He agrees to make them dinner, and she looks forward to spending time with him as a couple. She changes into a pretty dress and boots before choosing a bottle of wine from the cabinet and heading to the bar.

The wine bottle shatters to the floor as she runs to his side. She checks for a pulse and is relieved that he still has one, albeit weak. "Stay with me," she pleads as she presses the rags into his wound. The next hour is a flurry of activity as she and Doc rush to save his life. They are able to get him to the hospital in time, and he undergoes emergency surgery. It is not until he disappears behind the OR doors that she falls apart.

"I can't lose him!" she wails as Hope and Doc try to comfort her in the waiting room. When he is moved to recovery, she goes to his room to see him. He is hooked up to machines and tubes, and her eyes fill with tears. She climbs into the narrow bed beside him, needing to be closer, and holds his hand in hers.

"I love you," she whispers into his ear. "Please Jack, stay with me."

She wakes when she feels him stirring. "Jack?" she asks tentatively, reaching her hand up to softly stroke his cheek. "I thought I lost you. I love you so much."

"I love you more," he replies, and she smiles. She lightly presses her lips to his before pulling back, gently running her fingers through his hair.

It takes weeks, but Jack slowly heals and begins feeling more like himself. She touches Jack whenever she can, following her instincts finally within the limits his doctor explained to him before he left the hospital. She kisses him, threads her fingers through his hair, holds him at night, tells him how much she loves him at every opportunity. One night, as she watches him sleep, she realizes she wants him so much she cannot wait another moment to be with him. She begins running her hands down his chest until he wakes, blinking at her in the darkness of the room.

"Sorry," she tells him, "I couldn't not touch you. It's been too long."

"I know exactly how you feel," he says, pushing her onto her back until he is hovering over her. He kisses her passionately, and she eagerly returns the kiss. "It will never be that long again. Ever," he says, pressing his lips to hers once more.


End file.
